how do i even describe the way i see my baby girl? how do i even begin to describe the feeligns she envokes in me? how can there possibly be words sufficent enough to describe the way she makes my heart once cold alive with flames. How can i possibly describe how beutifull her submission is to me? It makes me chuckles at most vanilla's view of the liftsyle i live. If they could see the tihngs i feel for my baby girl and she the beauty of it all through my eyes how could they not be eager to envolve themselfs in it. I recently have been talking to her about the sadist part of me and she confessed that she is afraid that all i want to do is hurt her. I can understand why she may say such but at the same time i was hurt that she could even dream of such a thing. So i decided it would be best if pain play was brought back into our life on her request. Though i enjoy it immensly ill not force her into such if she truly feels such. Pain play...to me seeing her alow me to push her pain threshold is a wonderful and beautiful display of her submission to me. the marsk left there after ward i find wonderfull reminders of such for both her and i. AS i have stated before her submission is a show of her love to me and my dominace over her is the same.
Truth be told though i look forward to "getting laid" apon my return i look forward much more to the simple things we enjoy like talking over dinner or catching a movie or simply sitting on the porch discussing varies things. The showers we share the warmth of her in my arms as i drift off to sleep. The watching her impaciently as she gets ready to go out for a night out on the town. These are what i call the sweet things in life. they are small and simple and yet make our life worth living.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Sunday, August 1, 2010
ahhh the joys of being a daddy
Every daddy I know myself included has an unsutainable love for making their baby girl smile and happy beyond imgaination. Daddys tend to spoil when desievered and discpline as needed. Well i recently gave my baby gril the order to buy a sewing machine as i had given her permission to do so mutlipile times and for various reason she had not. My sweet girl has spent the last two days sewing like crazy. I had ordered her to make a 1950's apron as i find they can be quite appealing espically since i run my home in a 1950's style. I mean come one what man wouldnt love to walk in the house from a long day at work go into the kitchen where smells of dinner are coming from to find your women dressed in not but the collar around her throat declaring to the word she is yours and a cute little housewife apron. How could a man not walk up behind her and foundle her slightly as he kissed her neck and whispered in her ear that he loved her and asking how her day was as he reached around grabing a glass of water. giving her a slap to that loveale butt before walking out of the room and leaving her there weak legged. Well back to the point, she has allready completed the apron after degining the pattern herself as well as started a purse. However I may think the purse is stupid since she is doing it out of one of my old acus aka my monkey suits. She likes it and its an excuse for her to use the new toy i allowed her to get. She expressed to me today how much she loves it. How much nicer it is then the one she learned on. I couldnt help but grin from ear to ear knowing she had a new object that would entertain her for years to come not to mention be a great tool for us to save money, seening as how acus tend to rip quickly espically in the crotch area.
She also has started putting things togther for one thing ive wanted in my house for years now. Ive allways wanted a bar in my home. Not a full scale huge ass bar but a bar non the less. with its own glasses the liqours and beers behind it where i could stand and serve drinks to guest and friends and family as they shit on the stools before me. I mean how many people can have friends over for social drinks at the bar in their home???? Not many middle class people i know. Definatly not anyone my age. I have alot of the things i will need all i am lacking is the bar itself (which i may build) the stools and a mini fridge and a wine cooler.
Any ways I am very pleased with my girl as of late and am overly pleased in her child like joy over something as simple as a sewing machine. Just goes to show it doesnt take shiny things or chocolate to make every lil girl happy (though those are safe bets ;) )
well everyone i am looking forward to getting home and rejoing my girl in the flesh till later days
She also has started putting things togther for one thing ive wanted in my house for years now. Ive allways wanted a bar in my home. Not a full scale huge ass bar but a bar non the less. with its own glasses the liqours and beers behind it where i could stand and serve drinks to guest and friends and family as they shit on the stools before me. I mean how many people can have friends over for social drinks at the bar in their home???? Not many middle class people i know. Definatly not anyone my age. I have alot of the things i will need all i am lacking is the bar itself (which i may build) the stools and a mini fridge and a wine cooler.
Any ways I am very pleased with my girl as of late and am overly pleased in her child like joy over something as simple as a sewing machine. Just goes to show it doesnt take shiny things or chocolate to make every lil girl happy (though those are safe bets ;) )
well everyone i am looking forward to getting home and rejoing my girl in the flesh till later days
Friday, July 30, 2010
im goi to jump from the past to the present in this post
In my first post i was giving a bit about myself and for the sake of those trying to learn a bit about the life with never having had any knowledge explain terms that they may not understand. In this post I'll be more speaking about my present thoughts and feelings as a dom should there be any questions or any one wanting to know about something more in depth just drop a comment on this post and ill be sure to accommodate you as best i can.
I have been rather furstrated with my baby girl lately at her lack of doing simple task such as blogging and going to bed by her designated bed time but after sitting her down and having a talk with her she has shown much improvement in both areas. She seemes to understand that the blogging is a perperation for when i come home so she will be in the habit of writting in her journal. The reason behind this being she can put her thoughts and emotions on paper for a later review or for my own viewing. The bed time being that one problem we both agreed we had before i deployed was the fact that wee used to stay up till early hours in the morning and it on a few occasions caused me to be late to work. In the military that can result in some serious repercutions that I nor her wish to deal with. SOOOO seeing as how i have two days off apon my return then its back to grindstone for about 2 month before i get leave if she is in the habit of going to bed at a decent hour as I am then she wont have a probelm trying to adjust to her new schedule of going to bed when daddy (thats me) does and getting up when I do. to start things i expect of her on the days i work. Like having breakfast either complete or near complection when i return from pt. My work uniform laid out ready for me to change from pts after a shower and so on. It gives her a daily schedule as frankly she does better in life when she has things to do and to keep her busy that make her feel as if she is actually acomplishing something.
Which brings me to my next point. Myself i could never do a desk job as paperwork never ceases to come and there for to me has a feeling of never accomplishing a end goal as to jobs i work with my hands like my current job turning wrenches i see the progress weither its changing oils on a vechil or replacing a major compnent. At the end of the job the vechile pulls away and i know my work was for a purpose i feel a small amount of pride knowing I made that vechile be able to roll away carrying its cargo and passangers safely. She likes to see her work unfold before her much i like i do. Ive noticed watching her run around cleaning the house or doing laundry. She puts her best into it and is happy hwne the house is immaculately clean and my laundry is neatly folded and hung up in the closet. Tedies chores yes, no one enjoys doing them for say but ive noticed she watches for my approving pleased smile that allways takes place on my face as she does the things. For me its simply knowing she is workin her sexy lil but off just to see me happy that makes it one of my favorite times in the week, but forgive me ive gotten off track the point being she sees the difference when these things are done and it helps to show her that her effort was not for nothing. So i state again like myself she likes to see the fruit of her labors. So the things i give her as daily tasking are ussualy things she can see such. Generaly speaking they are small things that do not require much of her however i do secertly liek giving her a challenge from time to time just to see how she will respond to said challenge. Normaly she eagerly tackles it and gives it her entire attention which i find emensly pleasing.
As a Dom I find pleasure in the simplest of thigns that show her submission to me and my will. The things that show her trust in me. I love it when she begs for something or gives me the but but daddy plweeease look because weither she notices it at that excat moment or not she has just in her own mind reinforced who and what i am to her. she has shown she has no choice in the matter if i decied no it is simply no and thats all their is to it however if she pleases me and I grant her whatever it is (ussualy something silly like daddy can i get a candy bar or some such small thing i probaly would have gotten her eif she had just thrown in the shopping chart) then she has been granted permission and knows that daddy provided whatever it was for her. In one way it shows her she has been good or pleasing in another it shows her that daddy provides for her as well as exhibits control over her choices. Weither its something as big as a tattoo or as small as a candy bar she trust my judgement and its a wonderfull thing that makes me grin from ear to ear.
Do I enjoy the kinky sex, yes do i enjoy beatting her bottom red, yes do i enjoy the pleasures of the flesh that comes with her submission most defiantly are they the defining thing that makes me love what we have by far no. It is her submission its self that makes me happiest, it is the trust and love she has for me that is shown in every deed she does, the trust that i will make the best decision for her and guide her to the right path that will allow her to develope mentaly physicaly and spiritaly, the love that she has for me knowing that i am a hard man to love.
I make mistakes and often big ones more often then some but on the other hand i do not make the smae mistakes as most my age. Im stubborn beyond all hell and honestly i have some very outside the box views on somethings. she accpets these things and loves me depsite them. So i try to find new ways of expressing my love to her in return. She is my life with out her id cease to breath. She is my PRIDE AND JOY! She is my submissive my lover my wife my best friend and on ocassion my Mistress. She is my world. So to see her excell makes me beyond happy....
I have been rather furstrated with my baby girl lately at her lack of doing simple task such as blogging and going to bed by her designated bed time but after sitting her down and having a talk with her she has shown much improvement in both areas. She seemes to understand that the blogging is a perperation for when i come home so she will be in the habit of writting in her journal. The reason behind this being she can put her thoughts and emotions on paper for a later review or for my own viewing. The bed time being that one problem we both agreed we had before i deployed was the fact that wee used to stay up till early hours in the morning and it on a few occasions caused me to be late to work. In the military that can result in some serious repercutions that I nor her wish to deal with. SOOOO seeing as how i have two days off apon my return then its back to grindstone for about 2 month before i get leave if she is in the habit of going to bed at a decent hour as I am then she wont have a probelm trying to adjust to her new schedule of going to bed when daddy (thats me) does and getting up when I do. to start things i expect of her on the days i work. Like having breakfast either complete or near complection when i return from pt. My work uniform laid out ready for me to change from pts after a shower and so on. It gives her a daily schedule as frankly she does better in life when she has things to do and to keep her busy that make her feel as if she is actually acomplishing something.
Which brings me to my next point. Myself i could never do a desk job as paperwork never ceases to come and there for to me has a feeling of never accomplishing a end goal as to jobs i work with my hands like my current job turning wrenches i see the progress weither its changing oils on a vechil or replacing a major compnent. At the end of the job the vechile pulls away and i know my work was for a purpose i feel a small amount of pride knowing I made that vechile be able to roll away carrying its cargo and passangers safely. She likes to see her work unfold before her much i like i do. Ive noticed watching her run around cleaning the house or doing laundry. She puts her best into it and is happy hwne the house is immaculately clean and my laundry is neatly folded and hung up in the closet. Tedies chores yes, no one enjoys doing them for say but ive noticed she watches for my approving pleased smile that allways takes place on my face as she does the things. For me its simply knowing she is workin her sexy lil but off just to see me happy that makes it one of my favorite times in the week, but forgive me ive gotten off track the point being she sees the difference when these things are done and it helps to show her that her effort was not for nothing. So i state again like myself she likes to see the fruit of her labors. So the things i give her as daily tasking are ussualy things she can see such. Generaly speaking they are small things that do not require much of her however i do secertly liek giving her a challenge from time to time just to see how she will respond to said challenge. Normaly she eagerly tackles it and gives it her entire attention which i find emensly pleasing.
As a Dom I find pleasure in the simplest of thigns that show her submission to me and my will. The things that show her trust in me. I love it when she begs for something or gives me the but but daddy plweeease look because weither she notices it at that excat moment or not she has just in her own mind reinforced who and what i am to her. she has shown she has no choice in the matter if i decied no it is simply no and thats all their is to it however if she pleases me and I grant her whatever it is (ussualy something silly like daddy can i get a candy bar or some such small thing i probaly would have gotten her eif she had just thrown in the shopping chart) then she has been granted permission and knows that daddy provided whatever it was for her. In one way it shows her she has been good or pleasing in another it shows her that daddy provides for her as well as exhibits control over her choices. Weither its something as big as a tattoo or as small as a candy bar she trust my judgement and its a wonderfull thing that makes me grin from ear to ear.
Do I enjoy the kinky sex, yes do i enjoy beatting her bottom red, yes do i enjoy the pleasures of the flesh that comes with her submission most defiantly are they the defining thing that makes me love what we have by far no. It is her submission its self that makes me happiest, it is the trust and love she has for me that is shown in every deed she does, the trust that i will make the best decision for her and guide her to the right path that will allow her to develope mentaly physicaly and spiritaly, the love that she has for me knowing that i am a hard man to love.
I make mistakes and often big ones more often then some but on the other hand i do not make the smae mistakes as most my age. Im stubborn beyond all hell and honestly i have some very outside the box views on somethings. she accpets these things and loves me depsite them. So i try to find new ways of expressing my love to her in return. She is my life with out her id cease to breath. She is my PRIDE AND JOY! She is my submissive my lover my wife my best friend and on ocassion my Mistress. She is my world. So to see her excell makes me beyond happy....
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
introduction of a sort
I had orginaly planned to make this blog concerning my life as far as bdsm was concerned but apon deeper reflection i realized that would be impossible as its not some seperate life or some seperate part of me that i can pull aside and scurtinize. Its as much a part of me as my arms or hand or even the fingers i type this with. It its a single piece that contributes to who i am as much as the irish pride that resides with in we. SO that being said this blog will also contain part of me that having nothing to due with bdsm however that will be the main focus as the purpose of creating this blog was not only to allow me to take a step back and look at things that occur in life but also to help those out there that live this life and wish to see it indepthly from anothers view point.I know when i first started my in depth search of this life i often wished it was easier to find something like what i am creating then it seems to be to find porn that frankly portays the life very diferently then it is often viewed by those that use it as more then something to spice the bedroom up.
So let us begin. Id like to start with giving a bit of hisrtoy about my self with in the life. I was introduced to the life at what some may call a young age. Barely a man...I was 19 years old when i was first introduced to the lifestlye. I was on a chat program known as IMVU when i stumbled into a bdsm room out of curiosity brought on by the large bdsm community with in imvu (at the time). It was there i orignaly meet my now fiance and baby girl. We often look back on thos first conversations and laugh as how inexperinced i apperiantly was. Truth be told i was truly ignorant about the lifestlye and attempted to "collar" her only to find my self so eager to learn about the lifestyle that i ended up in one myself. She truth be told knew more about gor then bdsm and had no knowledge of what to do with a boy so see taught me breifly of gor and trained me as a kajrus ( the male slave used not for working or fighting but for serving and so on with in gor). It sparked my intrest in gor and when she and i parted ways for the first time it was there i searched for a deeper understanding as a Free man (MAster). I found the online world of gor intriguing to say the least. I barried myself in learning more and more of go. It wasnt long and many would say i was a true gorean. There where times where i allmost greeted those with in my everyday life with the gorean word "Tal. Moving on i began to grow weary of the drama that is in my opion ever constant in online gor. So i left my new beloved html (a chat ussualy rp based that revoles around typist typing out things like writting a book) gor and went back to imvu's bdsm. Once more i learned quickly but i stil had no person to person interactions. I had had a few girls that i had owned over the internet and phone that in all intents and purposes where mine in rt but never was i able to make flesh to flesh contact with them due to my job. In the intrest of time for the sake of my readers i will sum up that i struggled with in my life weither i was more dom or sub as i consider myself a switch for the simple reason for a VERY VERY select handfull of people i can be submissive and find happiness with in it but I have come to learn I am by far more DOM.
So let us begin. Id like to start with giving a bit of hisrtoy about my self with in the life. I was introduced to the life at what some may call a young age. Barely a man...I was 19 years old when i was first introduced to the lifestlye. I was on a chat program known as IMVU when i stumbled into a bdsm room out of curiosity brought on by the large bdsm community with in imvu (at the time). It was there i orignaly meet my now fiance and baby girl. We often look back on thos first conversations and laugh as how inexperinced i apperiantly was. Truth be told i was truly ignorant about the lifestlye and attempted to "collar" her only to find my self so eager to learn about the lifestyle that i ended up in one myself. She truth be told knew more about gor then bdsm and had no knowledge of what to do with a boy so see taught me breifly of gor and trained me as a kajrus ( the male slave used not for working or fighting but for serving and so on with in gor). It sparked my intrest in gor and when she and i parted ways for the first time it was there i searched for a deeper understanding as a Free man (MAster). I found the online world of gor intriguing to say the least. I barried myself in learning more and more of go. It wasnt long and many would say i was a true gorean. There where times where i allmost greeted those with in my everyday life with the gorean word "Tal. Moving on i began to grow weary of the drama that is in my opion ever constant in online gor. So i left my new beloved html (a chat ussualy rp based that revoles around typist typing out things like writting a book) gor and went back to imvu's bdsm. Once more i learned quickly but i stil had no person to person interactions. I had had a few girls that i had owned over the internet and phone that in all intents and purposes where mine in rt but never was i able to make flesh to flesh contact with them due to my job. In the intrest of time for the sake of my readers i will sum up that i struggled with in my life weither i was more dom or sub as i consider myself a switch for the simple reason for a VERY VERY select handfull of people i can be submissive and find happiness with in it but I have come to learn I am by far more DOM.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)